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JESSICA
CURRENTLY LOVING MY LIKE V MUCH TQ! anw i bite so get lost if u have no business here. :D |
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HELLO
This blog was opened by jessica to accomodate jessica's mindless musings and daily rantings.Do enjoy your stay here, and get lost if u dislike me tq. :D! tagboard
affiliates
bwssCHOIR ((:3e4'08 PAL5'08 :D Angeline :D Benjermin (: Celestine (: Cindy (: Dianna (: Gina (: GuoWei (: Marissa (: MEImei (: Jamie (: Jiahui (: Jessie (: joy (: Rachel (: RuoQi :D Sammy (: Shaun (: ShiJia (: Tirta :D VivienOng (: Wendy :D YunXin :D ZhiYong (: ZiEn (: ZiQi (: archives
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Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed |
wednesdae,31 May 2006
hiies.....i m so...arhz... hatred... feel that i m being a spoiled child...lolx... i keep doin the opposite of wat my parents sae lor...lol... today actually plan to go out... but totally no..i juz dun like goin out with my parents... feel that they are not giving u face... do stuffs u hate to c or to noe... so it is normal that nowadys teenagers dont like togo out with their parents... n they treat u like a baby...not grown-ups... arhz...kinda stupid... n dun care abt their appearance while outside... haix... arhz...i feel like i not the 'chinese' i use to b... i think i suddenly turn into the 'english' side... mayb u dunno wat i mean but it is OK.... end here...very bored...nth to sae much... fridae,26 may 2006
arhz...finally...holiday!!! a long holiday.... can de-stress liao... feeling so tense up tis couple of weeks... busy with exams...hiax... my results sucks....i get so low...i...haix...drop...too much le... although i didnt fail but is like...haix...same as fail...no difference... try harder next term...do revision tis holiday.... but not everyday lor....hahas... MOTTO:LET BYGONES B BYGONES.... muz remember always... stand up again after falling... that should b the way... the problem is i dun have the heart to do it... i have the idea of doin it but not have the ability to show/do it... still cant find the reason...4 sth...not goin to sae here...private..:P OMG...should i...haix...continue to do the same thing... haix... i swear i will b a whole new person after the hoiliday... a person with personality... hahas...hope it really happen as said... o...remember i sae 'hate BGR.'.... actually...is juz sth happen recently...nth serious.... doesnt wan to mention it either... now i think i keep something to myself instead of typing everyting here.... arhz...hated myself terriblely... so lazy...n onli thinks stuff that is none of my business or to care abt 4... always drift into thoughts of RUBBISH... hahas...arhz...heck care anyway... if i care more i will think morr... i think tis doesnt help me much...by thinking those RUBBISH... should care more abt myself...my stuffs...my world...my place...not other STUPID issues... mayb saeing here will let me feel beter but it doesnt realli help... but at least if u find me siting there doin nth...n juz staring... i start 'drifting' again... tap on me or call me to distract my thoughts but dont call my name out loud.. not nice to do so..hahas been so strange lately... dunno y i m doin sth that i dun realli noe abt... bcoming more n more...complicated... arhz...aiyo...end here...doesnt want to carry on...bored...haix... thrusdae,25 may 2006
arhz...stressed... totally...lost in the world of mine... cant feel anymore... behaving in a manner i dunno... bcome truely strange... weird...complicated... it's so complicated~... is crying a solution? can crying realli cure stress? can crying let u feel better...? lighter?or feeling free...? sorry wat happen today... i have no rights to scream...shout... it is like i m acting... i feel 'gulity'... hated myself...feel like doin the impossible... dunno...dunno y... i cant described the things happen i me... i cant explain...arhz... to much stress liao... erm...dunno if i can freeze myself... so i m cold so i wont feel anything... hahas...hate...BGR thingy...hahas end here... wednesay,24 May 2006
o...i so hate myself now...i juz hate my present... hope to let everyone hate me... making way 4 ppl to hate me... it is sooo easy... juz sae bad things infront of the person... n then they will b angry.. n hate u... U c... I now have a HUGE problem... i hate someone...call tt person...PIG... nearly all my friends hate her... but whenever i sae her...i feel...hurt... feel that i m doin tis bcoz...i FEEL that everyone hate her... so i SHOULD hate her as well... but...i cant bring myself to do it now... now she is begining to hate me...the PIG... not my fault... it is juz...she should blame it on her mouth n her physical... she is juz sooo... EXTRA... watever n where ever we are she will try to spoil it.... spoil the mood we are in... o gosh...if u dun understand it is OK... n then after we are gone bcoz she is there... she will sae ill things abt us to the ppl around her... does she has any face... doesnt she noethat every galz in the class dun like her at all.. shameful... n today i fufil my wish... i let ppl hate me.... which is OK...sucessful.. not that i sae it here means i doest mean wat i sae... or i wan u all thing that i m 'innocent' it is juz... haix...i wan to...erm...keep here as a record... mayb u dun understand tis line too... coz i not inderstand wat it means either...(: i juz feel... it is my faults... i have too much thoughts... is it true that pisces drift into thoughts more than other horoscopes... i think so... i m always thinking...that i m then most not welcoming person in the whole class... feel that all the ppl in the class dun like me... haix... y? has it anything to do with wat i m? wat i do... wat i show?wat i show to ppl wat i m kind of like? is it? m i bad... m i ...really wat it is all mentions above... i think so... think so... dunno... ahh... too much le... i cant stand it... friday,12 may 2006
hie...no time since i post...or onli abt a week or 2... i m studing 4 my exams... not wanting to post...at all when i online... tired...stress...pressure... i feel sad...broken hearted... dunno y...coz i noesth i shouldnt noe...haix... y is life so unfair to me... let me feel the pain in stead of any1 else.. i mean y muz i b the onli one tt been throuh all those hardship... saturday(6/05/2006)
hie...been lazy...haha....doesnt feel like blogging when online... there is always sth to sae... everyday to me has a point a meaning...a...a..wat? juz that everyday there is sth 4 me to sae... if that the case then everyday i muz online to blog... so now i think i will make a conclusion... blog when nessasary...:) wonder when will i start revising...and which sub. first... feel that i m always confused.....n...i cant make decision.... n think that i m testing my friends' limits... feel that i m acting...everytime... to b happy...when i m realli not at all... ahhhhhhhz............. y muz i noe sth i m not suppose to noe... y?...should i give up...everytime....when i didnt feel like trying...or afraid to try... try...to overcome my own blocks of hard stone... higher n higher...surrounding me....thicker n thicker.... n no one is there to help ...erm...to protect? not tt i m 'weal'...erm is juz that.... feel that i cant get past my own block of walls....so how m i suppose to reach out to others? but there is A hole...juz that hole....cant explain... dunno how...n i think none of u get the idea...none... i think i juz hide...:)... there is no way ppl can understand me... n plz dun think u realli understand me... coz i cant even understand myself... so dun think that wat i do is wat u think n wat i do u can understand... i cant find someone to trust... whole-heartedly no... i juz cant let anyone understand me... coz i m trying to understand myself first... b4 i can so called open my 'gate'... the gate to the 'hard stone building'... i m telling u tis coz i have been peirce several times by my friends... so i cant let tis happen to myself again... it is hurtful... can u believe u b so good to someone n that someone keep betraying u n u keep forgiving...n then one day u cant stand it bcoz that person realli leak out ur secret.. n is sth u keep repeating not to tell but in the end is leak out...n u finally did not friend that person n that person is very is 'sad'...so bao chou n leak out all of ur secrets... n u are being said by others... n being left alone... n u trey to act as nth have hapen... ok...i tell already... sth i always hide... finally i sae it out.. crying now.. cant keep thinking that the same thig may haoen again... so try to 4get... my motto...let bygones b bygones... cant sae anymore... end of post 4 now...2.03pm |
